I should be studying right now and I should be packing up the rest of my apartment but sometimes you have to stop your to do list and use your time to reflect and reevaluate what’s been going on and what’s coming up.
This is a very special time for me. In 3 days I have 3 tests that will be my exit to my undergrad. I couldn’t be more excited, I couldn’t be more grateful. However, packing up my apartment is what really made me realize that things are about to change and with no set in stone plan in mind, I need to mentally prepare myself.
I have a ton of life goals, bullets on the bucket list, opportunities to grow, and places that I want to see. The hardest choice is deciding which one is right for right now. For so long I have had a glorious plan set for myself and nothing or anyone was going to stop me from getting where I wanted to be. However, I’ve decided to let the only thing get in front of me be Christ. For a stubborn heart, that was an extremely hard thing to do. Currently my life is filled with blank pages and a direction TBD. I used to see this as scary place to be and I still have days where it makes me uncomfortable but I am learning minute by minute to sigh no more and be excited about the adventure that is being created for me.
I started my adventure in college at PC with the perfect plan of playing lacrosse for 4 years and becoming a successful business woman after I graduated with hopes of working for Starbucks or owning my own coffee shop. That quickly changed 2 years in and I ended up with Clemson and some of the most amazing opportunities that I had no foresight of. If this was just a glimpse of 5 years of my life then I am excited and shouldn’t be worried for the next 20, 30 or 50 years of my life because clearly God has a vision and plan bigger than mine.
Sometimes we believe that if our personal vision and plan is positive, well thought out, obtainable and makes us happy then we are headed towards the right path. This is not the case and the unsafest place to be is outside of God’s will no matter how often we might feel like we’re doing the right thing. There are times I battle and plead with God to PLEASE put my vision into his will and then I wonder why I do that when my vision is constrained by blinders and such narrow visions. I’m excited to let Him take the reigns and take me on an adventure that I could never imagine. My passion is deep, my love is wide, my mind is open and my ears are listening.